By: Bethany Vonseggern
Do this for people. These four words could mean anything, yet everything. For junior Hayden Solomon, they mark a significant day on his journey to share his story of anxiety and depression.
Through the negativity, the multiple tries at counseling and newly-found determination, Solomon has discovered he wants to “be the light” for others. He has created a website with blog posts and mini-docuseries where he sits down candidly to talk about his life of dealing with this struggle.
In the summer of 2018, when his site went live, Solomon said he didn’t have any goals of fame or gaining followers; he only wanted to let others know that they weren’t alone.
“I wrote [in my journal] my motives and what I actually want out of this the very first day I started,” Solomon said. “There’s one thing on there, and it’s ‘do this for people.”
As a teenager, Solomon started to feel more increased feelings of depression, aggression and had thoughts of suicide. In fact, there was a time in 2014 when he was attempting suicide and his father interrupted.
“I was to a level that I was willing to do anything possible to leave, to end my life. I was recklessly living so I could die,” Solomon said. “It’s a mess. It’s sad. It is so many things that I can hardly explain without tears
coming to my eyes, but I lived through it, I got through it, and I am here, alive, to say that everything is going to be okay.”
More recently, Solomon has sought out the help that he recognized he needed. Even though it may have taken him longer to get to this point, he acknowledges that making this decision on his own is a huge first step.
“Depression isn’t a one day thing. It stays around and sticks around until you are willing to better yourself and willing to get help for your own good, not the people around you,” Solomon said.
On this path, Solomon has become what he calls a “realist” and can see moments for what they truly are and is more honest about the realities of his relationships and life choices.
The changes he sees in himself are noticeable. Solomon is no longer the negative force altering the mood of others; he has more determination than before and is happy for the first time in a very long time.
“Well I don’t really know [whom I am], because I was depressed three-fourths of my life. So now I’m just starting to understand who I am and to understand the things I enjoy doing, the people I enjoy. It’s fun,”
Solomon said.
Although he finds self-exploration fun, Solomon still has to make conscious effort to get through some days. He often follows the advice of athlete David Goggins when he says to “embrace the suck.” This is doing something you don’t want to, but you have to just get out and do it. For Solomon, this may be working out, saying goodbye to toxic people, or quite simply getting
out of bed.
“You’ll make yourself stronger and become a better person from it. It [the journey] has significantly changed my mindset in a way I never felt possible,” Solomon said.
As Solomon continues to share his story and work on his mental health with the help of a counselor, he wants others to take the steps to beat depression.