Receiving a phone call from your college student with a problem can be a distressing situation. Your first instinct is to jump to their rescue and solve the problem for them. However, it’s crucial to remember that these moments are an opportunity to provide them with your support and guidance, not fix-it skills. As your student navigates the ups and downs of college life, here are some suggestions for handling these calls with care and compassion.

  1. Stay Calm and Listen: When your student calls with a problem, take a deep breath and remain calm. Allow your student to express themselves and their feelings uninterrupted. Empathize with their emotions and let them know you are here for them. Often, that’s the only support they need to know that they can handle the issue for themselves.
  2. Validate their Feelings: College is hard. It’s overwhelming. Your student will face challenges they have never faced before. Show empathy and validate their feelings. Let them know that it’s ok to feel stressed and anxious. Encourage them to seek out assistance from on-campus resources – such as the health center or counseling center – if they need it.
  3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Engage in a conversation using open-ended questions rather than questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. By providing more open-ended questions you will both encourage your student to keep the conversation going and encourage them to think about their emotions and decisions along the way.
  4. Encourage Problem-Solving: Rather than jumping right into the conversation with a solution, empower your student to think critically about the issue at hand and help them problem-solve on their own. Guide them through the process of finding solutions and weighing the pros and cons of the situation.
  5. Follow Up: After the initial phone call you have with your student about the issue, stay connected with them and follow up on the progress. Continue to offer your support and be available to them whenever they need to talk.

Remember that your student’s journey through college is a learning experience for both of you. Each problem that they encounter is an opportunity for them to test their independence and problem-solving skills while growing into the strong young adult you know they can be. By being a caring and supportive family member, you will guide them through these challenges and instill the confidence and life skills in them that they need to succeed long after their college journey comes to a close.