{"id":4599,"date":"2019-07-03T16:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-07-03T21:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/?p=4599"},"modified":"2019-07-05T12:11:18","modified_gmt":"2019-07-05T17:11:18","slug":"stand-together-out-proud","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/2019\/07\/03\/stand-together-out-proud\/","title":{"rendered":"Stand Together- Out & Proud"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Kay Siebler <\/span><\/p>\n

I was six years old when the Stonewall Riots<\/a>, the event that kicked off the Queer Rights Movement in the U.S., began. I had no awareness of the event, but Stonewall affected our culture in profound ways; it allowed<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/i>me to grow up in a time that was beginning to accept various expressions of sexuality and gender. I didn\u2019t come out as queer (I like the umbrella term of queer) until I was in my late 20s, but by then (the 1980s), there were queer communities everywhere I lived. Coming out — publicly stating one is not heterosexual — is a political act. As a teacher, I always announce within the first week of class that I am not heterosexual. I want students to know that there are adults in their world who are healthy, happy, educated and \u201cnormal\u201d who are queer. I have seen the effects of queer people who live in the darkness of a closet. They suffer from depression, anxiety and loneliness. No one can be a happy, fulfilled and complete human if they are trying to hide whom they are. It is exhausting and unhealthy; it kills one\u2019s psyche and ability to love oneself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Coming out is not a single act or announcement. Anyone who identifies as queer will come out thousands of times in their life. Every time they meet a new friend, every time a new family member is introduced through marriage or birth, every time they enter a new community or job, they have to come out again … and again … and again. It can be exhausting. But it is essential. The more people who announce they aren\u2019t heterosexual, the more the dominant culture has to adapt and accommodate to queer identities. The dominant culture and the compulsory heterosexuality of the dominant culture can change and has changed. But our work is not done. And so we must come out, and we must work to make sure others feel safe and loved being whom they are, loving whom they choose.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We come out to honor those who have experienced violence and died because of homophobic attacks: Stonewall, Matt Shepard, Brandon Teena and the Pulse Nightclub<\/a>. We come out so our families and friends can love us as we are, to give our friends and family a chance to grow and change. We come out so we can be fully engaged with people instead of hiding whom we are. We come out to offer a community to others. We come out to change laws. We come out to change the world. We are here. We are queer. We are strong. We stand together. Out and proud.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Describe what your sexuality means to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Richardson:<\/strong> Personally, it means I get to love who I want to love. It\u2019s a freedom thing. I can love literally anyone I want to.
\nNierman:<\/strong> Comfort. It\u2019s one of the only things in my life that I\u2019m sure of, which is nice. You don\u2019t know where your future is going after college; you don\u2019t know if you\u2019re always going to keep your friends. But damned if I don\u2019t know who I love.<\/p>\n

When did you first realize that you might be gay?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Richardson:<\/strong> In the beginning of high school.
\nNierman:<\/strong> Yep. Same.
\nRichardson:<\/strong> But I didn\u2019t actually experiment until college. I definitely saw it in myself, and I saw that I had interest in other guys starting through high school.
\nNierman:<\/strong> Same. Literally same. Sophomore year.<\/p>\n

What did the realization of your sexuality feel like?<\/strong>
\nNierman:<\/strong> Comfortable.
\nRichardson:<\/strong> Yeah.
\nNierman:<\/strong> You\u2019re suddenly like, \u201coh! This makes sense.\u201d
\nRichardson:<\/strong> An eye-opening experience. You\u2019re like, \u201coh!,\u201d
\nthen you\u2019re like, \u201cnow what?\u201d
\nNierman:<\/strong> For me, it was like, \u201cso this is why I didn\u2019t really
\nwant to kiss my boyfriend when I had one.”<\/p>\n

What was your experience like when telling your family<\/strong>
\nand friends? Do they know?\u00a0<\/strong>
\nNierman:<\/strong> I came out to my extended family this year in a really stupid way, and it turned out great. We were playing the board game Life, and we got to the point where you had to pick a significant other, and I picked a girl. I just popped a girl in my car, sat it down, leaned back and waited.
\nRichardson:<\/strong> I put no rush on it, because I am not a
\nconfrontation kind of person. I had the mindset of \u201cthey can
\nhate it or they can like it and I won\u2019t care.\u201d It is what it is, and
\nthat\u2019s that. They\u2019ll find out when I start dating someone.
\nNierman:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was gonna do! I was gonna wait until
\nthey found out.
\nRichardson:<\/strong> At one point, I told my grandma, \u201cI\u2019m bringing
\nsomeone home this weekend.\u201d And she said, \u201coh, is she cute?\u201d And I just said, \u201cI don\u2019t know. You\u2019ll find out.\u201d I walked in the door with a boy, and she was like, \u201cHi! My name is Shirley! How are you?\u201d Later, I asked her if she picked up on the fact that he was more than a friend, and she said, \u201cwell,
\nyeah. I\u2019m not stupid.\u201d
\nNierman:<\/strong> What if instead of a baby gender reveal, you do a
\nsignificant other gender reveal for your family?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s something you love about your sexual identity or<\/strong>
\nthe most positive experience you\u2019ve had since coming out.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nierman:<\/strong> I love the family. So if you identify as any part
\nof queer, queer people tend to stick together. We create
\nfamilies and friendships because a lot of queer people don\u2019t
\nhave families who support them, and so we become a support
\nnetwork for each other.<\/p>\n

If you could talk to your younger, closeted self, what<\/strong>
\nwould you say?<\/strong>
\nRichardson:<\/strong> Just come out. It\u2019s all positivity surrounding you
\nand there is nothing to be afraid of. Also, men are trash. Don\u2019t
\nget your hopes up.
\nNierman:<\/strong> Research more. Get more friends in the queer
\ncommunity, and find people who are accepting of you.
\nWhat\u2019s your advice to anyone who is currently struggling
\nwith their sexual identity or exploring their sexual
\norientation?
\nRichardson:<\/strong> To someone who is thinking about wanting
\nto come out and is afraid, just know that you have so much
\npositivity around you. The positivity is going to outweigh the
\nnegative, by far.
\nNierman:<\/strong> You can choose your family. If you have someone
\nwho gives up on you or leaves your life, it was meant to be.
\nThey are not your friend, and they should accept you for who
\nyou are. Go find some better friends that will like you for
\nexactly who you are and who will like that you love who you
\nlove. If your family isn\u2019t accepting, make a new one. Make
\nyour friends your family.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Kay Siebler I was six years old when the Stonewall Riots, the event that kicked off the Queer Rights Movement in the U.S., began. I had no awareness of the event, but Stonewall affected our culture in profound ways; […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":56,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[92],"tags":[676,674,675,677],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4599"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/56"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4599"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4604,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4599\/revisions\/4604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.missouriwestern.edu\/yearbook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}