It may appear that crying is a natural expression of sadness, but in our society it serves as a double standard. In our society crying is seen as appropriate for women and inappropriate for men. In fact, Robertson and Freeman (1995) have developed a term in male gender role research known as "restricted emotionality" to comment on the lack of male expressiveness. The research indicates that there is a much lower correlation between crying and sadness for men, and that men are less likely to cry than women (Ross & Mirowsky, 1984). Although these studies may indicate a gender difference in the expression of sadness, they do not indicate a difference in the actual experience of sadness. The widespread belief that females are more expressive than males is one of the most consistent findings in the research on gender stereotypes (Fabes & Martin, 1991). These stereotypes determine the roles and behaviors that we see as appropriate for males and females.
There seems to be many reasons behind this difference in emotional expression between males and females. The most important factor in emotional differences is seen as socialization (Ross & Mirowsky, 1984). Little boys are taught to act differently than little girls right from the start. When a little boy begins to cry the parents may respond to that behavior by saying that he is a big boy and that big boys don't cry. Right away the child learns what is acceptable behavior and what is not. The second reason that men are less emotionally expressive than women is that unemotional behavior is often praised in our society (Robertson & Freeman, 1995). In many business and management positions men who appear unemotional and are skilled at making impersonal decisions are often rewarded. The third condition that may contribute to a lack of male expressiveness is the fact that crying is often mocked as being a sign of weakness and femininity (Lombardo, Cretser, Lombardo, Mathis, 1983). Fabes and Martin believe that another possible reason that these stereotypes are maintained is what appears to be an emotional cycle (1991). Males lack of emotions seems to enhance the females more expressive nature, therefore, creating a bias based on the fact that female emotionality may be more often noted. The attention paid to the female emotions may overshadow the male emotion therefore reinforcing the existing stereotype.
The information we have reviewed so far represents the classic literature on the subject of male weeping. There seems to be a new trend occurring in the more contemporary literature on male weeping (Labott, Martin, Eason, Berkey, 1991). It seems that society may have more tolerance and maybe even more approval towards men who cry. The trend seems to indicate a greater acceptance of this type of behavior. Some may even see it as attractive. By the same token men who do not cry when it is deemed appropriate may be liked less than men who do express their emotions. The data seems to attribute this new found attitude to a belief that men who cry may have a more important reason to do so since they appear to cry less than women. Crying may no longer be seen as predominantly feminine.
There are certain factors, however, that seem to have an influence on whether men choose to express their emotions. Some men are more likely to cry than others. The men who are more likely to cry are those who have both masculine and feminine traits and through their own experiences and socialization have come to reject the stereotypical masculine role (Narus & Fischer, 1982). These men are known as nontraditional men. There is another factor that influences whether or not to cry: income (Komarovsky, 1962). Nontraditional men typically fall into a higher socioeconomic status and these men are more likely to express their emotions because of both of these factors, but conversely they are less likely to be sad and therefore less likely to cry. On the other hand, working class men are more likely to be sad or depressed, but less likely to cry. So it seems that neither group is very likely to cry although for different reasons.
The literature does, however, discuss some ways to make emotional expression more positive to men. Robertson and Freeman (1995) maintain that men have to be shown that emotions are a functional part of life. Emotions must be exhibited from a more masculine-congruent perspective. Emotions that are characterized as having a positive effect on relationships, families, and job settings are more likely to be displayed. Men must not see emotion as singularly feminine but rather as a tool to increase personal effectiveness.
I have attempted to review the contemporary and classic literature on male weeping along with the reasons behind these stereotypes. Some ideas on how to change the existing stereotypes were also discussed. The classical view is best summed up in this quote by Levine (1992), "So entrenched is this perception of men's inability to express emotion communally that a caring man becomes, to some women, an oxymoron." ( p. 43). The contemporary view points to the opposite direction with there being more appreciation for the expression of male emotion. There appears to be many factors that influence both views on male emotional expression. This is what I wish to examine in my experiment whether or not this contemporary trend towards male weeping really exists.
There may have been many reasons why the other items did not reach statistical significance. The video had a few technical problems including a problem with sound in the third condition and also the actors lips and words did not match up. The participants may not have perceived the male as "normal" because of either the characteristics the actor portrayed of because of the script he read. Of course the college sophomore is an apparent problem in this experiment. There other items may not have reached statistical significance due to the fact that the female participants greatly outnumbered the male participants.
Some suggestions for further research may be to survey those with higher levels of education and those with lower levels of education and compare the two to see if there is a difference of opinion on the acceptability of male weeping. Another idea could include surveying the younger population and surveying the older population to see if their views differ on this subject. Also one could survey different cultures and determine their views on male weeping.
To some extent my study did agree with the contemporary literature on the topic of male emotion. It may appear to be more acceptable for men to cry than in years past. The contemporary literature suggests that males who express their emotions more freely may be seen in a more positive light. This outlook is relatively new as the older literature suggests that male emotion in general is looked upon negatively. More research must be done in this subject area to determine is this contemporary view is indeed correct.
Komarovsky, M. (1962). Blue Collar Marriage. New York: Random House.
Labott, S. M., Martin, R. B., Eason, P. S., & Berkey, E. Y. (1991). Social reactions to the expression of emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 5, 397-414.
Levine, J. (1992). My enemy, my love: Man-hating and ambivalence in women's lives. New York: Doubleday.
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Narus, L. R., & Fischer, J. L. (1982). Strong but not silent: A reexamination of expressivity in the relationships of men. Sex Roles, 8, 159-168.
Robertson, J. M., & Freeman, R. (1995). Men and emotions: Developing masculine-congruent views of affective expressiveness. Journal of College Student Development, 36, 606-607.
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